


The Memory's Torrent

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Related, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Oneshot, Third Person POV, Twenty-Somethings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:46:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6348658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The rain reminds them of the past they never wish to repeat and the future they hope to create.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Memory's Torrent

The two Anbu men have worked hard for their titles. Years spent training and fighting and avenging; time wasted with running and hiding and shouted words seemingly unheard. Memories filled with blood and tears and pain that have connected - _bonded_ \- the two men in a way like no other, in a way that enabled them to live next to each other up until this point. They live, _not necessarily peacefully_ , but they live.

They have learned to lock their bad memories away, to hide them in the deepest corners of their minds, to push them aside and look at them with blind eyes; but somehow, Sasuke’s past was always taunting him. Those angry memories were suppose to stay out of sight ( _It’s over now, don’t you get that, bastard?_ ) yet everyday they sprouted from within, blooming with thorns on their stems and trapping Sasuke in a dance of death- _a dance_   _of regret._ He was sad to admit he had become used to their cuts to his heart. (But he didn’t know how to feel when he realized Naruto was slowly bandaging those cuts.)

Sasuke’s mistakes move him forward, but so does his blond companion. Ever since the beginning they have been moving forward together, making pit stops along the way to admire the thorny roses, but eventually getting back on track. And Sasuke isn’t afraid now - to admit that his death would have been certain if not for Naruto. But his unconditional gratefulness (and love) only comes from the fact that the idiot, his team mate, his best friend, his lover Naruto never once thought about giving up on him.

It’s because Naruto was always willing to cry his heart out for Sasuke in order to understand him and his complicatedly simple past. To empathize with his loneliness, to change his dark frame of mind and to help him detangle himself from the curse of the Uchiha clan. Cried to the point Sasuke was forced to scream that Naruto _would never understand him_ in order to get it through the blond’s thick skull. Fighting until Naruto was laying unconscious on the ground, the rain matting down his sunshine hair and hiding the swell of tears Sasuke was sure we're forming in his usually stoic eyes.

It’s because of Naruto who never stops fighting, who loses then gets up just to lose again. The idiot who doesn’t think plans through and who rushes into enemy hideouts without a map, the loser who spouts nonsense words that somehow speak volumes.

It's because Naruto, Naruto, _Naruto_ , there from the beginning, sure to be there during the end. He had promised after all, and if one thing was for certain it was that the idiot never goes back on his promise( _that's my ninja way!_ ). Because Naruto, who never stopped chasing and eventually became victorious ( _What did I tell you, Sasuke!_ ) carried the unconscious and bleeding Sasuke on his equally bloody back, all the way to the village gates before passing out himself.

Waking up next to Naruto in the hospital was difficult but apologizing was even more so. Proving his trustworthiness (to anyone but Naruto) was an uphill battle that has been ongoing for many years. Getting Naruto’s (and _his_ ) friends not to stare at him as if he were a headless chicken dancing around was patience-testing as was ignoring the horrified whispers from the Konoha citizens every time Sasuke stepped foot outside his home. Getting Naruto to act normal was the easiest of all though, for after one or two serious talks (initiated by Sasuke himself of all people) and just a few minor fist fights, the two were back to schedule as usual. Well, not entirely _as usual_.

Naruto knew the bond he had with Sasuke was something other than brotherly. The way that dark stare would send shivers down his spine or how a single touch could steal away his breath and ignite his body into flames Sakura couldn’t come close to competing with, was proof enough of Naruto's physical attraction. Then was the matter of sharing an apartment (hokage-ordered until Sasuke can "get all his shit together") and how having two beds seemed ridiculous (this one is perfectly big enough, let's just sleep together, it's a waste of money not to)  and how every night Naruto would bug the pale man to death with his questions of his travels and thoughts about the world- _about his past._

Naruto wanted to re-learn everything about Sasuke. Wanted to watch him for days in possibility of discovering anything new. Naruto wanted to touch and taste and smell and listen. Naruto wanted to talk and ask and live with him, live _for_ him.

Sasuke wasn’t any better off.

And both of them have learned (agreed) to put the past -the mistakes _and_ the good times- behind them in order to make room for their undeniably large future together. Except for those rare occasions where the sky becomes restless and the past begs for remembrance.

It didn't storm often but when it did, they remembered.

"Sasuke, I heard it's gunna storm tonight."  

It was a secret language that wasn't hard at all to decode. Sasuke only nodded in approval, in _promise_ , before looking out of the window into the early morning light. He watched as the blonde jumped into his black attire ("uhg, so bland!") as he himself did the same, preparing for another day of killing those enemies, those traitors, those names he had once been (and still are, by some people) associated with.

Sasuke often tried not to remember, but on days that the air smelled of rain, it was hard to forget.

The day passed as any other except it wasn't. Sasuke could feel it in the air. He could hear the wind whisper promises in his ear, could smell the gift of what was to come. It excited him, it plagued him, it confused him, it was bad and good and everything in between.

Night came and Naruto was right.

The two men were quick to strip from their bloodied uniforms, (only leaving on their forehead protectors) impatiently changing into normal clothes -even forgoing showers- because the rain had started already and they'd be damned if they were going to miss it.

Their balcony was small and Naruto's potted plants took up most of the space but it was okay. It was more than okay. Because they were together and the sky was dark and it was _raining_.

The two made themselves comfortable criss-crossed on the damp concrete, breathing deeply as the cold sprinkles turned into pelting rain. The thunder makes Sasuke’s insides burn and shake and tremor, his bones feel too fragile as they shake in anticipation. It makes Naruto as breathless as when Sasuke’s hand reaches for his own, and he is left panting as he gasps for air, his heart beating much too fast for his ribcage to contain.

The lightning does the foxtrot among the stars, the moon a silent spectator as it illuminates continuously, patiently loving the quick bolts of electricity that fill the sky every so often. It is one of the most beautiful things Sasuke has ever seen, but he knows it will never compare to a certain blond, and this thought makes his chest tighten all the more.

They sat trembling with tears in their eyes and fingers intertwined as they remembered tortured pasts filled with regrets and losses and mistakes and anger. Pasts connected by understanding of the most cruel situations, pasts defined by _what_ they were instead of _who_ they were. Because this is a time to remember, to hate each other but to also love each other. To yearn and to ponder and to try and understand the other’s ways of thinking. They do not move closer to provide warmth or protection from the evil thoughts that they know rage within because the storm is about the hatred and longing of the past, not about _now_ or what will happen _after_ now, but one day they hope it will be.

They never spoke when the rain came.

Thunder roared again, in broken syllables that almost matched the choked sob that in spite of everything, escaped Naruto. Sasuke did not turn to him because tonight, it was the rain's turn to comfort Naruto.

During the dry spells they were strong, they were ruthless, they were perfect. During the dry times they had no regrets, they didn't dwell on the past, they only lived in the present, strived for the future, and took things smartly - one step at a time.

During the storms they crumbled, but they crumbled together. It's a tradition that began who knows when, that will stop in who knows how long and will be a secret for all of eternity.

They sit in the rain for hours or until it stops, whichever comes first. They sit in the rain with their eyes closed and bodies trembling from the shivers that overtake them and sobs begging to escape, but none of that matters.

They never spoke when the rain came, that is, until the pain becomes too much to bear.

Naruto can feel the agony crashing like ocean waves off of his lover and he braces himself for the pale man’s usually spoken words. The _only_ words spoken.

“I’m so sorry.” Sasuke’s voice is broken and small and barely audible over the monstrous chorus of nature.

And Naruto quietly nods in acknowledgement because he needs to hear those words as much as Sasuke needs to say them. Needs to hear them because forgiveness comes easily but forgetting is hard and neither can really seem to let go.

Tan fingers wrap tighter around pale ones, giving them a gentle squeeze, a silent but reassuring “it’s okay” for both himself and his lover.

Tonight feels different. Maybe it’s because of how heavily the sky is crying -as if wanting forgiveness itself- or maybe because of the wind and how it’s calming breaths are like the eye of a hurricane; but either way, Naruto decided to break the settled silence with a reply.

“I love you so much.”

Naruto did not look when Sasuke finally began to cry.

The rain is hard and embeds it's sting on both men as it trails down their boiling skin. It torrents to the ground around them, wrapping the two in a beautiful melody of nature and despair and they are thankful. It pelts against the concrete in patterns sure to be noticed if either boy were listening hard enough. But they aren’t. Their minds are in a different world - trapped in a past where the background noise was much louder (a waterfall) and nothing was making sense, too many words, too many screams, too many hits.

Too much rain.

Too much loss that day that started it all.

Thunder becomes so close it shakes the windows of their apartment behind them and Naruto smiles through his tears. Sasuke sees it but is unable to force himself to do the same.

His **stranger** his **teammate** his **rival** his **best friend** his **annoyance** his **savior** his **lover** his **_most important person..._ **

And tonight the rain helps Sasuke realize (all over again) that without Naruto, his life would be pointless. Without Naruto he would not be strong, he would not be understood, he would not be living. Without Naruto, Sasuke would not have achieved his goal, would not have regrets, and would not desperately love the rain as much as he does now.

They both love this rain, no matter how much they may cry because of it. They love it _because_ they cry over it and it sets them at ease, paints their world brighter at the end of it all. They are allowed to remember and then they move on, a pattern that will be done over and over because moving on is never as simple as one makes it out to be.

Guilt is simply too much of a burden.

An hour flew by, then two and before their cold bodies knew it, the storm was over. The sky was dark and littered with stars so bright and so clear, one would never had known it had just poured it's soul onto the land. The clouds were scarce and the high crescent moon was inviting sleep filled with dreams (not nightmares) and the two boys were ready to comply.

Sasuke was the first to stand. His clammy hand removed itself from Naruto’s, slowly, as to not disturb the blond’s final thoughts. Sasuke shook his prickling legs, stretched his sore back, and ran a relaxed hand through his dripping hair before turning again to his lover.

"Time to go."

"Yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> it rained last night and i couldnt help myself


End file.
